Time for a change

It saddens me that with some changes comes confusion for others.  I wish I could fix the feelings that I'm sure will crop up as a result of our decision to be finished with our small group bible study.  We have been with them for about 5 years and I'm feeling the need to "detangle".  This is not a sudden decision.  I've actually been feeling this way for the last year.  We took the summer off, as we usually do because of all the summer activities.  As the summer progressed it seemed that this was a good time to not return.  We have a really lovely group of people but we just aren't feeling connected anymore.  Yesterday I received an email from our small group leader asking if we should take in more people and when/if everyone was coming back.  I responded back just saying that we had decided that this would be a good time for us to not return.  Everyone knows that we were selling our house and that we wanted to relocate....this shouldn't have been a great surprise.  Today I received a call from our small group leader asking if it was something she said or did.  I told her that of course it was nothing anyone had done.  We were just ready to grow with a new group...and this seemed like a good time to make this adjustment.  I'm hoping they will understand that sometimes you need to break free to find new growth. 

Home!

Had a great time in Arrowhead but it was more driving than I really enjoy...4 hours there...another 2 1/2 down to Tracy's sisters then next morning...but up to the mountain that night...and back down the mountain today.  I'm tired.

Jerry is hysterical...I know where Tracy gets it!

Doing grown up things

I've been making "grown-up" meals this last week and a half!  With Sarah gone I can make a meal without thinking of what to include in order to make sure she will eat something.  I can't wait for her to come home but that's one aspect of her travel that is cool!  We have also gone out for "drinks"!  Who gets to do that anymore :) 
We are planning a trip this weekend up to Lake Arrowhead to see Tracy's mom and sister.  Their birthdays are actually the following week but because of various scheduling things these days worked out best.  I hate to go without Sarah since it's one of her favorite places to go but I think she gets it.  She does seem to be having a wonderful time...but is very home sick..for the puppy, not us! 

I missed another high school reunion.....

I didn't even think about going.  I do love seeing the pictures to see what people look like now. Most I wouldn't know if I walked past them in the street. I can't even remember why I know some of their names or what they looked like then.  I'm fairly positive they wouldn't recognize me either.  It's nothing personal...we've all changed and grown up.  Some are probably doing what they planned on doing.  Others have taken a path they didn't see coming.  I figure that was 4 years out of my life.  It didn't really define me.  I know people who think those were the best years of their lives.  They weren't my best years.  I was still trying to figure out how to get out...it wasn't anyone's fault.  I just didn't feel like that was my place.  It was just a place holder for what was to come.  I'm actually pretty sure I would like some of these people now...even the ones who didn't talk to me then.  I was just another geek....not popular, not athletic, not particularly talented in anything particular.  I was just another kid.  It was only after college and after my determination to move to California, that life took on meaning. 

I don't look on those times as particularly bad or good or anything really.  Some of those people in high school did make a difference in me.  I remember the things they taught me in those reliable ways of social interaction.  I don't particularly like who I was then, but to wish that I had been something different or more is rather silly when I look at where my life is now.  I've met quite a few of my old high school "friends" on facebook this year.  It has been a nice experience for the most part.  It's fun and I'm really appreciating these distant friendships!

I am happy.  Could I have been happy there...maybe.  What matters is who I am now and my wonderful family. 

It would have been fun to have gone to the "party" but in the end, a trip 1800 miles away doesn't make sense to me...give me another 20 years and we'll talk!

It has been a lazy weekend!

Tracy and Sarah are out of town which left me plenty of time to clean the house and do all those things I put off. I admit it! I didn't do any of them.  I ended up going around in circles checking out all the yard/garage sales, stopped at Target to see if I could find a bookshelf for Sarah's room (the one she took out with her sleep walking experience), and finally picked up the dog from home and spent the two glorious hours reading one of Sarah's books and floating in the pool.  I was even able to get Flash in to "swim" with my assistance. 

I was able to come home to a crockpot of riblets I picked up from Fresh and Easy, threw together a green bean casserole, and steamed butternut squash and enjoyed a night of watching things my family does not enjoy, on TV. 

I could have done all those things I should have done, but I would have missed a wonderful calming day.  I guess sometimes you just have to give in and not "direct" the world!

New haircut :)

Sarah decided a change was in order.  She hates brushing her hair.  It is rather a pain since it's baby fine and wispy...which leads to tangles and knots.  She went for a shoulder length cut with bangs!  I was a bit surprised she wanted to cut off her hair again now that is was just starting to grow back out but it's only hair so I told her she can do what she wants with it :)   I think she is going to be a happy girl when she brushes it in the morning! (I have to admit I'm not sure about the bangs yet but they do hide that horrible bump in the middle of her forehead)

Sleepwalkers unite!

Sarah leaped off her loft bed the other day...it was not intentional!  She has this little sleepwalking issue from time to time. Usually it occurs when she is under stress or really tired.  She generally just gets herself out of bed and walks down the steps of her loft and finds us.  There were several time this year that I didn't even think she was asleep when she wondered into the living room and calmly sat on my lap until I told her to go back to bed.  This time I really can't figure out what was going on but Tracy heard a loud crash as she collided with her bookcase, the closet doors, and her stuffed animal net.   We ended up with a little girl with a rather large bump on the side of her head and a bump and carpet rash on the middle of her forehead.  Overall I think she was rather lucky!

We are grown ups!

I hadn't actually met my cousin Nels since he was still a little kid.  I remember seeing him soon after he was born and I think the last time was when I was traveling through where their family lived in Ohio.  I could be wrong about that, but I know it's been at least 20 years.  He grew up!  He has a wonderful family and they were kind enough to break into their holiday to come see us.  I hope this breaking of ground will open the way to meeting more of my family in the future.  I've always felt like an isolated little island with just a few people to call family.  This week just reminded me that there is so much opportunity to have more if we take the chance!

My kid may indeed be a pyromaniac!

I have no pictures of yesterday.  I had the camera in my purse and managed to ignore it's existence.  This may be a first for me since I am a bit of a shutterbug when it comes to the family but we were having so much fun that I let it go!

This is the first summer in years that we haven't headed up to Lake Arrowhead with Tracy's side of the family.  Sarah absolutely loves it up there.  This year for various reasons we decided to stay home.  I'm so glad we did.  Sarah did not actually remember even playing with sparklers really, because you just don't have fireworks up at the lake due to the fire hazard.  So this turned into a real "experience".  I have to say she took to it very well! 

We are so lucky to have friends from her old school that were wonderful enough to invite about 35 + people over for a party.  I think at one point there must have been at least 15 kids in their pool.  Turns out it a bit interesting to watch that amount of kids try to find water to swim in!  Everyone brought at least $50 worth of fireworks so there was a pretty good stack.  Tracy was out in the middle of their cul-de-sac setting up a "show".  The 11-12 yr olds managed to help by lighting anything they could get their hands on.  Yes, at one point I saw Sarah actually just light a box on fire because there was nothing else to blow up.  I suppose that's a part of growing up she had missed until now.  There were so many poppers in the middle of the street that it looked as if it had snowed. 

I hope everyone had a great 4th!  I know it will be one we will remember for awhile :)

I need to replace my flag...here are the top 10 things we need to know:

1. Fly the American flag higher than your other flags. We all like to show our pride for home states, sports teams, colleges and more, but the flag of the United States should always be at the center of any display and should be the highest point of a group.


2. If it's flying horizontally or at an angle, the "union" (the stars) should be at the peak of the flagstaff. Flying the flag with the union at the bottom symbolizes "dire distress."

3. If you're suspending it on a rope between buildings or houses, hoist the flag out, union first, from the building.

4. Don't lay the flag across a car in a parade or on a parade float (unless it's hoisted on a flagstaff). According to the U. S. Code, "When the flag is displayed on a motorcar, the staff shall be fixed firmly to the chassis or clamped to the right fender."

5. Bring your flag inside in inclement weather -- unless you have an all-weather flag.

6. Raise the flag at sunup (or later), and take it down at sunset, unless you have proper lighting to keep it illuminated during the night hours.

7. Don't let the flag touch the ground. It's a sign of disrespect. Similarly, don't use the flag to wrap, hold, or carry anything.

8. Don't substitute a flag for a table cloth; the flag is not to touch anything underneath it, nor should it be displayed horizontally. In addition, using the flag in any manner that might result in it getting dirty is a no. A flag on a small pole in the center of the table is acceptable, however, if you're looking for a patriotic decoration.

9. Flag pins should be worn on the left lapel, nearest the heart, as the flag is considered a living thing.

10. Flags that are tattered or torn should be replaced -- contact your local veterans organization or Boy or Girl Scouts to find a flag disposal service near you, or send it to the Flag Keepers.